settling down.

so it's saturday night.
i went to the gym around 9 and now i'm sitting here listening to carlos snore on the couch.
and it's so comforting.
weird, i know.
but i just love him so much.
and i love being around him and knowing that he's here.
i'm so blessed to have him in my life.
i'm so grateful that i met him and that i get to spend the rest of my life with him. <3

i'm so far past that feeling of "it's the weekend, i need to go out"
and i loooooooove it.
i love that i can just sit here, read blogs, watch tv, relax, and enjoy time spent with my amazing family and fiance.
i can proudly say i am settling down.

work? what's that?!

so i go back to work tomorrow.
oh no!

it's okay, i'm excited.
well, kind of.

i'm more excited to get out of the house.
i'm nervous because i have been so focused on working out and eat right and i do not want to let going back to work ruin my routine.
instead i'm going to say, its NOT going to ruin my routine.

i've noticed, as my brother has told me before, it's all in what you believe.
if you tell yourself something is going to happen, it will.
this is very true.

so here it all is:

i'm going to win the valley's biggest loser competition.
i'm going to lose 50lbs.
i'm going to finally figure out what i want to do in life, at least for the moment.
i'm going to marry my best friend and live happily with him, forever

and don't worry, i'll be back to reiterate this a million times in the next four months.

cheers to a positive life. :)

2 down, 4 to go

so i lost 2lbs in 2 weeks.
and i am NOT mad at that!
wahooie!
that's the healthy way to do it, duh!

also- i am signing up for the valley's biggest loser challenge on friday.
i'm so nervous.
it's going to push me outside of my comfort zone,
but it will be just what i need to stay motivated, meet new inspiring people, and get this weight off once and for all.

not to gloat, but i am so flippin' proud of myself.
i just gotta keep it up!

1 down, 5 to go!

okay so today was the dreaded weigh in day
and i lost 1lb last week.
which is successful, but not as successful as i wish it were.
that's fine though.
i'm sticking to it and pushing through.
i will lose 5lbs by august 31st!!!!

i don't need luck, i just need encouragement.
this is a lifestyle change for sure! :)

wedding updates.

so i got my engagement pics.
i love them.
i hate them.
i love them.
i'm so critical of myself.
of my body.
my smile.
my facial features.
e v e r y t h i n g.
BUT what i do know, is that i have an AMAZING fiance.
and i'm working harder than hard to get in shape and lose this weight.

also-our venue fell through.
we got an e-mail stating that the neighbors have been complaining.
we have to keep the music turned down.
and we have to do be out by 8:30pm.
womp!!!!!!!
so we're looking into other options.
affordable options.
some places are looking bright.
i just want to be married.

anticipation.

i'm so anxious.
i want my engagement pictures back.
i want new flooring in our condo.
i want a paycheck.
i want to be married.
i want.
i want.
i want.

and i hate waiting.

ha!

sorry, i had to rant for a moment.
today was one of those "off" days.
you know, where you're just emo for no reason at all.

i'm trying to get through it.
i should have gone running with carlos.
but we didn't go cuz we're so sore from yesterday, ha!
we WILL go tomorrow morning.

happy tuesday.

back to reality.

so after a fun, relaxing, joyous weekend of NOT working out or paying attention to what i ate,
i'm back to reality.
it's okay too, because it makes me feel SO good. :)
went run/walking with carlos at the sports park.
it reminds me of when i was little.
all the little kids playing pop warner football.
the air outside.
the smell of the grass.
i miss those days.
so carefree.

however, here i am, 24, about the be married.
i cannot wait!
i spent F O R E V E R playing with photoshop today.
making save the dates, engagement party invites, etc.
who knows if we will really use them.
but it was fun.
i'm finally starting to get a handle on this whole wedding planning thing.
hooray!!!

3CW weekend,

so on my birthday we went wine tasting.
we decided that it would be a GREAT idea to have a port wine, chocolate, cheese and cigar party.
hence the name, 3CW.
well, as with all of our other drunken ideas, we for sure thought we wouldn't follow through with it.
so we all put it in our phones, made a facebook event of it, and i spent the past two weekends at anthony's house until 3 or 4 in the morning preparing it for what was one of the best "grown up" parties i have ever helped throw and it all wouldn't have happened without my amazing family and superior friends.
here area few pictures of our wonderful night!

woohoo wednesday.

so on sparkpeople they have a thing called "woohoo wednesdays" and it's a time to celebrate and/or recognize the little (or big) woohoo moments from the past week.

this week my woohoo is that i have not had any soda for a month.

that's right, an entire month.

mind you, i used to have a diet coke every single day. it was a sick, sick addiction! now, i'm taking a step in the right direction and removing it from my life.

i've been on the right track, i've learned to love going to the gym. i missed three days and i went back yesterday and it was just what i needed. and i love that.

so, i know no one reads this but, do you have a woohoo wednesday moment?!

(ps. i thought this picture of my brother was perfect to share my excitement)

summer time.

so i'm off work until august 25th.
i repeat, i do NOT work until august 25th.
so what does that mean, you might ask?
well other than cleaning my house everyday, it means no paycheck.
this is insane!!

last year at this time i had three, wait two, jobs.
which helped the income flow.
but now i'm broke, nothing to do, it's crazy!

friday we are getting our engagement pictures done.
i'm sooooo excited! i can't wait.

in other news, i refuse to buy myself another piece of clothing until i lose 5lbs.
this hopefully will motivate me to lose weight.
i'm tired of living life like this.
i am going to lose 50lbs.
i know it sounds like a lot, but i need to.
i need to in order to live a long life.
i need to in order to be happy.
i need to in order to be healthy.
and to stop being sick.

i am excited, scared, and i need support, a lot of it.
and i need encouragement.
it's so scary leaping into this, but i know it's what is best.

happy summer.

martha stewart.

so in planning for the big baby shower in may, i came across some ideas.
i love doing things homemade.
i enjoy going to joann and making things.
i'm not the best at it, but i'm getting much better.
i think i might take some classes.
i want to be homely.
not in the way i dress, but the way i act.
carlos loves coming home to my cooking.
i love decorating and creating things and putting on parties.
i have a feeling some side projects are coming into place and i'm getting super excited!

Sunny Sundays

sundays are my favorite and least favorite days of the week.
i love them for the peaceful sun. i love waking up to the sunday paper.
i never want to go to work the next day. and laundry is usually a must.


today i can't decide where i want to go with my life.
all i know is that i cannot wait to be married to carlos.
i wish the day would come sooner.

i think that focusing on building a life together should be what i do next.
possibly not going to school. who knows how i will feel about it tomorrow though.

now i'm off to do my laundry and make dinner for him. <3