settling down.

so it's saturday night.
i went to the gym around 9 and now i'm sitting here listening to carlos snore on the couch.
and it's so comforting.
weird, i know.
but i just love him so much.
and i love being around him and knowing that he's here.
i'm so blessed to have him in my life.
i'm so grateful that i met him and that i get to spend the rest of my life with him. <3

i'm so far past that feeling of "it's the weekend, i need to go out"
and i loooooooove it.
i love that i can just sit here, read blogs, watch tv, relax, and enjoy time spent with my amazing family and fiance.
i can proudly say i am settling down.

work? what's that?!

so i go back to work tomorrow.
oh no!

it's okay, i'm excited.
well, kind of.

i'm more excited to get out of the house.
i'm nervous because i have been so focused on working out and eat right and i do not want to let going back to work ruin my routine.
instead i'm going to say, its NOT going to ruin my routine.

i've noticed, as my brother has told me before, it's all in what you believe.
if you tell yourself something is going to happen, it will.
this is very true.

so here it all is:

i'm going to win the valley's biggest loser competition.
i'm going to lose 50lbs.
i'm going to finally figure out what i want to do in life, at least for the moment.
i'm going to marry my best friend and live happily with him, forever

and don't worry, i'll be back to reiterate this a million times in the next four months.

cheers to a positive life. :)

2 down, 4 to go

so i lost 2lbs in 2 weeks.
and i am NOT mad at that!
wahooie!
that's the healthy way to do it, duh!

also- i am signing up for the valley's biggest loser challenge on friday.
i'm so nervous.
it's going to push me outside of my comfort zone,
but it will be just what i need to stay motivated, meet new inspiring people, and get this weight off once and for all.

not to gloat, but i am so flippin' proud of myself.
i just gotta keep it up!

1 down, 5 to go!

okay so today was the dreaded weigh in day
and i lost 1lb last week.
which is successful, but not as successful as i wish it were.
that's fine though.
i'm sticking to it and pushing through.
i will lose 5lbs by august 31st!!!!

i don't need luck, i just need encouragement.
this is a lifestyle change for sure! :)

wedding updates.

so i got my engagement pics.
i love them.
i hate them.
i love them.
i'm so critical of myself.
of my body.
my smile.
my facial features.
e v e r y t h i n g.
BUT what i do know, is that i have an AMAZING fiance.
and i'm working harder than hard to get in shape and lose this weight.

also-our venue fell through.
we got an e-mail stating that the neighbors have been complaining.
we have to keep the music turned down.
and we have to do be out by 8:30pm.
womp!!!!!!!
so we're looking into other options.
affordable options.
some places are looking bright.
i just want to be married.

anticipation.

i'm so anxious.
i want my engagement pictures back.
i want new flooring in our condo.
i want a paycheck.
i want to be married.
i want.
i want.
i want.

and i hate waiting.

ha!

sorry, i had to rant for a moment.
today was one of those "off" days.
you know, where you're just emo for no reason at all.

i'm trying to get through it.
i should have gone running with carlos.
but we didn't go cuz we're so sore from yesterday, ha!
we WILL go tomorrow morning.

happy tuesday.

back to reality.

so after a fun, relaxing, joyous weekend of NOT working out or paying attention to what i ate,
i'm back to reality.
it's okay too, because it makes me feel SO good. :)
went run/walking with carlos at the sports park.
it reminds me of when i was little.
all the little kids playing pop warner football.
the air outside.
the smell of the grass.
i miss those days.
so carefree.

however, here i am, 24, about the be married.
i cannot wait!
i spent F O R E V E R playing with photoshop today.
making save the dates, engagement party invites, etc.
who knows if we will really use them.
but it was fun.
i'm finally starting to get a handle on this whole wedding planning thing.
hooray!!!